It's the most wonderful time of the year

Hey guys, as you will no doubt know, christmas is just round the corner.

I'm not going to talk about it, but it is :)

No, what's got me thinking is something that i spoke about with a friend last night, ironically on msn. Why do i use my PC so much?

It was meant as a light hearted joke, and i know she loves coming on and having these long conversations with me, but once she went offline, it really got me thinking, why DO i use it so much?

This was such a big question for me as it asked much of the last 13 years of my life, and today lots of my friends have noticed that i've not been all there. I've been deep in thought trying to solve this, and i think i've finally figured it out.

I can put down the obvious reason, i use it for work, but to be honest, i never use it for work at home. As far as i am concerned, my time is my time. I earned the free time by working hard in school, ergo i shouldn't have to work at home. Lots of people will argue, but that's how i feel :) The real bulk of reasons is directly related to my life and surroundings.

I've been using the computer since i was about 3, when i learned to type and do really simple stuff. My dad is some sort of computer guru, so learning was really easy with his help. I usually get asked how i can type so quickly, and the simple answer is that i've been typing before i could write. My entire life i've been surrounded by computers and games consoles (again, one of the advantages of having my dad). I've been playing computer games like half life and quake since i was about 7 and because of that, I like to think I have really good reflexes and hand eye coordination.

Another reason would be a lack of things to do. I am constantly either bored or asleep, unless out with my friends, which to be honest doesn't happen as much as I would like, especially now in the winter months. But i find that going on the computer simply gives me something to do. Simples *noise*

However, possibly the most complex, and let's face it, sad, reason is to come. Since i was little, I've been told that i'm really smart, gifted and talented etc, but everything i do is always overshadowed, to the point where i wasn't happy with an A in biology. I know it sounds pig headed, but thats honestly how i felt. But i started playing games which i suppose gave me some sort of achievement where i found my life to be lacking in it. And when i was getting told by strangers that i was really good, it sort of filled a void in my life, a craving for attention, being noticed. It also gave me something that i could say i was better at than my friends.

It's really sad on my part, playing games and using PC's for that reason, but that's the whole and honest truth.

Onto non-computer related stuff, went to the firework display at Wickies yesterday. Had so much fun, but felt kind of bad the whole time for reasons that for now will remain secret, though a couple of people know them. Basically, I'm a horrible friend. But i did feel i was slightly justified. Anyway, the fireworks were fantastic, the live band not TOO bad, good for a cover band anyway. Met a friend from school that had moved on, remenisced, had a proper laugh with him, like the good old days then waited for L's mum to come and pick us up, taking her time of course :P

Also, school is still boring.

Right, I've said my piece, and to quote a great man, on that bombshell, i'll be off now. Will try and write again tomorrow-ish.

Hasta Banana